Alphabet Dating: The Simple (and Fun) Way We Changed Up Date Night

After almost 24 years of marriage, it’s easy to fall into a rhythm.

Not a bad rhythm. Just a familiar one.

Life gets full. Work, kids, schedules, responsibilities. Date nights still happen, but they can start to look the same without anyone meaning for that to happen. Same places. Same conversations. Same patterns.

(Read: dinner and a Target run that somehow turned into grabbing groceries.)

At some point, we realized we weren’t looking for anything big or dramatic. We just wanted a simple way to change things up and be a little more intentional with the time we already had.

That’s how Alphabet Dating started.

How We Approached It

We kept it intentionally simple.

We take turns planning the date, and when it’s your turn, you can choose any letter of the alphabet that hasn’t already been used. There’s no order and no pressure to move through the alphabet quickly.

For fun, we also decided to keep the plan a surprise from the other person. The only thing shared ahead of time is the letter. Everything else is revealed as the date unfolds.

Some letters turn into full evenings. Others are quick stops or low-key moments. The point isn’t the letter. It’s having a framework that gently nudges us out of routine.

A Couple of Our Favorites So Far

B: Burgers & Books - This date brought us back to something we used to do long before we were married. We started with burgers at Eureka! and then wandered through Barnes & Noble. For fun, we challenged each other to find a book by an author whose last name started with B, which led to a lot of shelf browsing and unexpected discoveries. We lingered longer than planned and left with books we probably wouldn’t have picked otherwise. Nothing fancy. Nothing rushed.

P: Pottery & Pizza - Pottery, on the other hand, was something completely new for us. We spent the evening at Petroglyph, trying something we had never done before and enjoying the chance to see each other get creative in a different way. It felt relaxed, a little outside our comfort zone, and surprisingly fun. We finished the night with pepperoni pizza, which felt like the perfect balance of new and familiar.

Why This Has Worked for Us

Alphabet Dating didn’t add more to our plates. It actually simplified things.

It gave us:

• A starting point when planning felt tired

• Permission to keep things low-key

• A reason to explore local spots we might otherwise skip

• A way to stay curious about each other and the place we live

  
  

Most of all, it reminded us that connection doesn’t come from doing more. It comes from being a little more present with what’s already there.

A Few Easy Letter Ideas

If you’re looking for inspiration beyond the letters you’ve already used, a few others that have worked well for us or are on our list:

• C: Coffee and conversation, or a casual cooking night at home

• F: A float spa experience, followed by something simple afterward to ease back into the day

• Q: Quesadillas and Qwirkle, an easy, relaxed night that doesn’t require much planning

• W: Wine tasting or a long walk together

The letters don’t need to dictate the entire evening. Sometimes they’re just a starting point that nudges you toward something a little different than usual.

No Rules, Just Intention

We’re not trying to get through the whole alphabet quickly. Some letters wait. Some get skipped for a while. And that’s kind of the point.

This isn’t about checking boxes. It’s about finding small ways to break routine and make space for conversation, shared experiences, and connection, even in a full season of life.

Sometimes changing things up doesn’t require a big plan. Just a simple idea and the willingness to try something a little different.

A Sweet Valentine’s Day Twist

It would be easy to turn this into a fun Valentine’s Day gift.

One simple idea is to create 26 envelopes, each labeled with a letter of the alphabet. Inside each envelope, include the plan for that letter’s date. You can open them in any order and spread them out over time, which makes the experience feel ongoing rather than one-and-done.

Pro tip: add a small symbol to the outside of each envelope to indicate time commitment and cost. That way, on a busy week you can grab something simple, and when you have more space, you can choose a date that’s a little more involved.

It turns date night into something flexible, thoughtful, and easy to adapt to real life.